Christmas time. A period full of happy memories with family members. We spend quality time with our family, laughing together, with them cherishing and loving us and us loving them in return. That is why Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year.
But it is also one of the saddest times for me. As I think of how my family loves and accepts me, I also think of how many families have rejected their children outright, just because they have come out as gay. It saddens and sickens me, and I cannot even begin to imagine what that must feel like. I guess I am just luck that I did not go through that.
How can a family be so cruel as to reject their loved one? How can parents, whose only job in life is to raise, protect and love their child, choose to tell them that they are no longer their child? This is inconceivable to me. No matter what one’s belief, religion or upbringing, the natural instinct should be to love your children and family unconditionally.
So if it is so inconceivable to reject family, why are so many gay guys and girls spending Christmas without the family that, deep down in their heart, they want to be with? Let me try to put myself in the shoes of a father, ignorant to homosexuality, who has just found out about his son being gay…
I have just found out that my son is… is… one of those people. I can’t even say the word. I cannot think. I just react. It is natural to think that being gay is wrong. Society tells me this. And I want the best for my boy, and being gay is not the best for him. I cannot believe this, it must just be a phase. I mean we all have weird thoughts at his age. But come to think about it, it can’t be a phase. Most guys his age are on their third or fourth girlfriend, and he has never had a girlfriend. I’m angry. I should have raised him better. My pride and ego are now clouding my vision. I feel like I am to blame for this, but I cannot admit it. The easiest option to keep my pride is to avoid this problem completely. I cannot accept this. He cannot be my child any more…
While I cannot say for sure what goes through someone’s head when their child comes out to them, and obviously each parent will think differently, this may be a valid example. Can you relate to this in any way? Does it ring true to you or your parents?
If you have been ousted from family, and they still mean a lot to you, then I suggest fighting for your family. Keep phoning them. Keep visiting. It might be very difficult and go very wrong for a while, but the optimistic side in me hopes that one day they will give in to the pressure and let you back into their lives. Good luck…
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