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My other side as an effeminate gay man

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A guest blog post from Anonymous:

Hi, I am a gay guy who comes from a family where homosexuality is forbidden. I was raised only by my mum, aunties and a grandma and it had to affect my way of doing things in an effeminate way. I was teased, laughed at and spat on during my Primary and High School days and it went a long way in affecting my esteem and what I had to tag “my inner or other side” which happened to be my sexuality. I always hated the feeling and just recently I have come to accept myself. But no one seems to be approaching me, I always fall in love with the straight guys, and it hurts me that am still lonely. How do I help myself? Is it that I have to drop my effeminate way of life to try and fit in? Is it that God doesn’t love me the way I am?

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6 responses to “My other side as an effeminate gay man”

  1. Zee avatar
    Zee

    Hi and Thank You for sharing this online. There are a number of men out there that have experienced something similar, however very few choose to accept themselves, so be proud of yourself.

    Falling in love with “the wrong” people is not a bad thing, you just need to accept the choices of these straight guys you find yourself attracted too. The have the same right of being who they are, just as you do.

    It is normal to struggle when seeking love, I experience the exact same thing, moreover it might be one of two things:

    – That you are more attracted to or drawn towards a masculine man, most of them being straight or,
    – You have not connected with like minded me as yet.

    Give it time and don’t be hurt by the experience your endureing right now! It makes you stronger and will assist you in making the right decisions in the future. The here and now might not present you with the possibility of love, but the future might invite someone relatable and likeminded into your life.

    Be sure to surround yourself with people that will help you obtain this “love”, whether it be direct or indirectly.

    Be well, your perfect as you are 🙂

    Regards

    Zee

    Reply
    1. Aaron avatar
      Aaron

      Lovely comment, thank you!

      Reply
    2. phila avatar
      phila

      zee ayoba i like your comment dear.

      Reply
  2. phil avatar
    phil

    Take hart comfort ur self compare your self to nigerian gays who are been killed c0x they are gay

    Reply
  3. justD avatar
    justD

    Someone once asked me “Are you the guy you would like to date?” The answer was no. I did not love myself at all, but I expected someone else to love me unconditionally. I was so mean with myself, but expected someone else to be nice. That question opened up my eyes and I decided screw it, nobody else can love me better than me. I worked on myself, I was kinder to myself and eventually to others as well and I started caring less about what others think because my vision for the future was bigger and louder than anyone’s opinion. At the same time I prayed for someone with a big heart. And out of thin air came this wonderful man who just likes absolutely everything about me. Even little things that irritate me about myself. Needless to say he has a heart of gold.

    My point is thus: we all have long winding roads to travel which sometimes don’t seem worthwhile. You win some and lose some, but what we gain almost always outweighs that which we lose. I have no doubt in my mind that somewhere on the road there is a prince charming hoping to hold a heart like yours. Just have fun and never stop loving, never stop hoping and never stop growing.

    Reply
    1. Aaron avatar
      Aaron

      Great comment, thanks!

      Reply

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