An African Gay Man – Coming Out & Coming Of Age

Many people ask me why I am always so “alive”. Well, if you know my history then you would understand.

6 years ago I came out of the closet. From a very very religious family, I got disowned immediately. I was still a first year student at UWC (University of the Western Cape) that year. My whole life literally felt like it had came to an end. I dropped out shortly thereafter. I had suicidal thoughts and I started to cut myself because the endless pain was so unbearable.

Luckily, I had really good friends at the time (a few of them are still with me and some have passed on), and I couldn’t have done it without them. My friends are twice as old as I am and they literally encouraged me to never give up.

African Gay Man

I started working as a waiter at Spur. From there, I started working in a call centre – night shift. A few months later I had my break through. My life started getting back on track because I was so persistent to achieve. I completed my studies part time, and my life changed drastically. So many times I wanted to just give up but I had that fire burning down inside me, telling me not to burn out. My faith was (still is) so strong, and I told myself that I won’t fade nor die… not now.

I thank God for giving me the courage and strength to pull through. And yes, looking back now, it was worth it. Most importantly, I still cannot express my boundless gratitude to those who have been with me throughout.
I know that there are so many of my fellow gay men out there who are going through hell. Always remember who you are and that you have to stay on your toes at all time.

Today, 26 years old, I work for one of South Africa’s biggest logistics companies in Cape Town and I have the most amazing husband on earth. He’s my best friend, my one true love and I just can’t picture not having him by my side.

Not all of us get a second chance to bounce back on track and to make something of ourselves, while living. When you get that chance, don’t mess it up…

Dream as if you’ll live forever, but live as if you’re dying today.

Don’t ever give up! You’re still alive.


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