A letter written by one of my readers:
I am K.P, and I am 24 years old. For all my life as far as I could remember, I have grown up with a clear conscious of my sexuality. I fairly and peacefully played with girls around my neighbourhood. Though there were some dudes who would tease me from school, it didn’t bother me much. I didn’t have a problem with my sexuality, I loved guys, enjoyed the ongoing bouncing of crushes I had from one guy to another round the school and on TV sometimes. It was cool, but then came a change…
There came a change in recent years after I met a “Christian” lady who rented our guest house.
Because of my good behaviour and manners, I tolerated things that she would say about gay people and how God is against gay people and gay life. As much as I didn’t want to listen to her, I heard what she had to say and whatever words she did say, I still remember them quiet clearly in my mind.
How “God” hates and punishes, blah blah blah. I’m sorry to write in such manner but I’m just speaking my heart out. So to be honest, I think that my mind has registered all that she had to say and every time I engage in thoughts of my sexuality, it’s like I feel bad and judged and everything that goes with all the judgement and hateful energy she gave through all the time I respectfully spent time with her.
But now I want nothing to do with her. I hate her for what she put me through and how she made me feel. Yes, I know hate is wrong and all, but that is just how I feel at the moment. And please bare with me about that part towards her, I just feel like I have the right to feel like this and wouldn’t let that go until I know how to deal with this and how to take her and her words out of my system.
I feel this way because I can’t express myself fully and be myself because of the lies and hateful stuff she said to me. So, I probably am nuts to write this to you all, but I figured if there is a chance for you to put things into perspective for me, I would really appreciate what you guys have to say about this. It will really mean a lot to me. Please get back to me. K.P.